I met with a client last week,
and with her permission, I am sharing her story:
She has been working at a law firm for the last seven years and her ambition has always been to become a partner. The environment she works in consists of over 70% male versus 30% female and according to her she has to work twice as hard to prove that she is as good or better than a male partner.
She was so determined to become one of the few female partners of the firm that she said “I had to put aside the soft feminine side of my personality, and show forcefulness, sometimes be seen as being ruthless in making decisions. Think like a man!”
This decision of denying who she really is, what she really stands for took a toll on her, with the result that before she was even considered as partner material she was completely burnt out, on the break of a divorce, and seeking therapy.
In a nutshell:
- She had lost her uniqueness, sacrificing it to become someone that was not true to her real SELF
- Her real purpose was compromised, as she was living a purpose trying to be someone that she was not
- With the result, she had no passion for what she was doing anymore.
Principle of Individuality
In our session together, I introduced to her the Empowerment Principle of Individuality”. Individuality is acknowledging the uniqueness of your own journey and the strengths and natural talents that you bring to it. Additionally, knowing what your weaknesses are and allowing them to co-exist with others gives you the freedom to focus on what you can achieve. Our individuality can be celebrated when we are at peace with what makes us unique without taking on the burden of obligation to compete or conform to other people’s ideals or abilities.
“We lose our individuality by getting caught up in pleasing everybody else and
trying to be everything they expect us to be. This attitude is disempowering and
is not sustainable.”
We must be comfortable ourselves and appreciate who we are and where we are at so when someone appears to be judging us for not being good at something, we can come from a place where we express our truth in a non-defensive, content and empowered manner.
When you are comfortable with who you are, what you have and have not achieved, what you are good at and what challenges you, then you are less likely to become distracted by other people’s expectations. There is a contentment to be found in knowing that you are who you are, all is well and that no two individual’s journeys will ever be the same.
In our EP7 program (Empowerment for Purpose in 7 Steps), we have a total of 52 Principles and I will be sharing them all with you, starting today! Watch this space for the next Principle, and in the meantime:
“Wishing you all good mental health”